Wellness: A Retirement Fund You Can Bank On

A couple of years ago, an entire issue of Money magazine was dedicated to the topic of health and wellness. In his preface to the edition, the editor stated apologetically that, although at first blush, it seemed strange for a magazine ordinarily devoted to issues of wealth to concentrate on health and wellness, the accumulation of wealth is worthless without the health to enjoy it. When retirees were interviewed as to the regrets about mistakes made when planning for their retirement, the most common belief was that they should have made a more significant investment in their health earlier in their lives. I see many people who have worked their entire lives only to discover that they are ineligible to fully enjoy the fruits of their labor because they did not invest early enough in their health. When you think of it, the initial costs of these investments are relatively low and the return is immensely high. Right now is the best time to start listening to those retiree s regrets. By not investing early enough in your health, you could find yourself tarnishing your golden years. As with all investments, timing, quality and quantity are critical. Making wise choices now are the keys to the success of your wellness future. Those who have planned well for their health, not only live longer, but live better. They tend to enjoy their financial prosperity more. Overall, even those less financially successful seem to have a much richer life if they have made solid health investments early on.

What makes a truly good investment? One thing we know of investments in health is that relatively small deposits compound over time and yield tremendous results. A 10 minute walk every day from now on, could buy you the ability to trek across the spring tundra of Alaska on your 80th birthday. Small, wise, health investments made over time will yield truly miraculous results. The good news is that health investments are easy to identify. Good deals are out there, and we know what they are: quit smoking, lose weight, eat healthy and become more physically active. Our biggest mistake is thinking we can start tomorrow. Every day that passes without making a health investment is a lost opportunity to increase our wellness portfolio. There are 365 days in a year and it is amazing how quickly they pass. What were your health goals, one year ago? How many have you met? The absolute truth is that the time to invest in your health is now. As with any investment strategy, it is best to start small. Begin by picking one thing that you can do to improve your health. Even the smallest investment has the potential for tremendous return. Walking 10 minutes a day, every day, no excuses - can and will make a huge difference in your life. Don't believe me? Prove me wrong. Walk 10 minutes a day, every day, for one month and see what happens. When started I my evening walks, it did not take long for the walks to become easier and more enjoyable. Although I have to admit, some walks have been better than others, I am convinced that I am always the better for it. The improved strength and increased energy I derive from walking are simply dividends being paid to me now on my long-term health investments. The big payoff will come when I am older provided I continue to invest. Walking is just one example. It is easy to do and does not require any special equipment. In short, it is difficult to find a valid excuse not to walk. Are you having trouble getting started? Do you need a plan? Luckily, help is out there. The financial planners of the health and wellness world are called coaches. Coaches are specially trained professionals that help you to understand the process of change and can show you how to get started. They help you to set realistic goals and help you realize your long term potential. The best coaches have had personal experience fighting and winning the same battles you are facing. They have been where you are now and they understand. Although it is NEVER too late to begin your wellness portfolio the earlier the better. How about today? Consider reaching out for guidance from a skilled professional that can bring you from where you are to where you want to be. It is possible, it has been done by others, and you are not alone.

Action Giving - An exercise in kindness: improving the world one step at a time.

Whether you are losing weight or have reached your goal, it is important to keep your body moving. The good news is that almost any kind of movement will do as long as you do it and keep doing it. In order to be effective, however, staying active needs to be a long-term commitment that does not end when you have lost all the weight you want to lose.

According to the National Weight Loss Registry, engaging in a consistent activity program is a key element in the maintenance of any weight loss success. Did I say long-term commitment? I meant life-long commitment. Yes, that means that movement needs to become part of your life. That may sound like some kind of prison sentence but if you do something you really enjoy doing it’s not that difficult.

If any of you have a bad case of insomnia one morning around 4am and happen to be strolling along a beach on the North Fork of Long Island, you might catch a glimpse of me blissfully gliding along the surface of the bay in a kayak. I enjoy it so much; I can't even call it exercise. Make no mistake, though, I do manage to elevate my heart rate. I actually paddle hard enough to exceed the speed of an average 30 foot sailboat under full sail. I know this because I have confused many a sailor as I quietly whipped by them. The cardiovascular benefits of paddling are undeniable, the scenery is impossible to beat and the core muscle training is awesome. By the end of the summer I cannot even fit into my shirts because my chest has become so developed. The core strength and flexibility the sport provides me improves every aspect of my physical abilities, especially my balance.

When I kayak I have some unbelievable workout partners, ducks, geese, osprey and loons. There is no better way to “work out” then to do something you love to do. My “gym” is a million miles long and a million miles across, and I will never get to see the whole thing; that’s pretty amazing. The peace and euphoria that this routine brings me sets the tone for my entire day and can last for a week.

Yup, I sure do love to kayak. The problem is that even when you love to do something, the motivation to keep going can still evaporate. Next thing you know, a month or a year goes by and you’re no longer doing anything. The secret to holding on to your motivation is to maintain a deep connection to all that is good about what you are doing. Still, holding on can be difficult.

It was a cold, rainy and windy start to the kayaking season and I don't mind telling you that I was losing my kayaking MoJo (Motivational Joy -- not to be confused with the Cuban Spice also known as MoJo.) I remember too many mornings at the beginning of the season where I just stood on the beach, cold and wet, only to turn around and go home. I did nothing to really move my body on those days and I really felt lousy because of it. It was a bad habit in the making.

One of the main lessons that the challenges in my life have taught me is that every human being has the potential to be better. Certainly, losing over 200 pounds was a challenge but keeping it off- is takin’ some work too! Throughout my weight loss journey I began to see this process of success develop. I began to recognize that the path to the life I really wanted could only be walked one step at a time. I learned that all I had to do was to develop one good habit at a time and stick with it. After a while that good habit became easy and it was time to make a better habit. I discovered that all I needed to do in order to stay on this path of improvement was to just keep collecting these small, positive changes. After a while, I developed a system that allowed me to focus on the changes that best suited me.

I call this system Betterness ®. Simply put; Betterness ® is defined as the process of radical life improvement through the accumulation of small but consistently performed positive changes. Although there is way more to the actual system than that, the key here is that you need to keep doing what you are doing. In the case of my daily kayaking “habit” all I had to do was keep on doing it. Unfortunately, sometimes Betterness just that ain’t that easy.

I define “Action Giving” as the act of giving by doing something physical. This kind of charity is not only good for you but it gives you the opportunity to make a real difference in the lives of others. It is an awesome way to stay motivated to keep your body moving. Yes, even I, with my professed love for kayaking can use a motivational boost.

My MoJo was rescued back in 2007 by the Paddle for Humanity. The paddle for humanity is an 18 mile open ocean charity paddle from Montauk, NY to Block Island, RI. It is held every year in early September.  Who would have believed that the same 400 pound man struggling to stay on an exercise bike for 5 minutes would cross almost 20 miles of Open Ocean in a 15 foot kayak? Believe it! I did it for three years and this year I am going out on my own to do a charity kayak of almost 300 miles around Long Island!

How did this give my MoJo back? All I needed to do to get my MoJo going was to think about all the people whose lives might change if I could keep paddling. I knew the only way for me to endure the grueling 18 miles to Block was to get my butt into that boat and paddle - every day. Since getting started is always the hardest part, all I needed was a little shot of MoJo and soon I was blissfully ripping along like always. As I continued to train, I stayed motivated by getting sponsors. I knew that people were depending on ME and I was not going to let them down. I knew that when I finally left the safety of Montauk, I would not be alone. I would have all of the collective energy of my sponsors and their beneficiaries behind me. As I paddled, I couldn’t help thinking about the real people whose lives will be made better by the causes we were supporting. I am truly grateful that I am able to make a difference in the world, contribute to my own wellbeing and do something I love to do in the process. This kind of giving is a great way to stay motivated on the sometimes difficult road of Betterness.

As it turns out, often a little motivation is all we really need. If you don’t think action giving is powerfully motivating, it is only because you have not yet experienced it. Yes, you too can be an “action giver” and don't have to risk shark attacks, muscle cramps, being lost at sea or even getting wet. OK, so I’m being dramatic. When I do these crazy paddles, they are actually extremely well organized and safe there is no chance of being lost at sea, the sharks out there are well fed enough to leave us paddlers alone and my training keeps the muscle cramps away. I am quite sure, however, that staying dry is not an option. So, if getting wet is not your thing, there are many good causes that will get you moving.

Perhaps the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life is the most familiar to you. Did you also know that the Obesity Action Coalition and the American Society for Metabolic and Bariatric Surgery jointly organize the walk from obesity? (http://www.walkfromobesity.com/)The proceeds from this event support obesity research and obesity advocacy. If you are overweight, as I was, and ever felt isolated, alone and misunderstood, this is a great cause for you to support! The march of dimes also comes to mind. These events are held all over the country at various times which gives you plenty of opportunities to get involved. I encourage you to find your own way of Action Giving.

When you do sign up, treat the event as true commitment to yourself as well as the beneficiaries of the event itself. Think of your participation as a reason for you to do better, fell better and BE better. Set your mind to the belief that the more you train, the more you AND the world will benefit. Honestly, you can change the world with just one positive thought provided it is followed by an action. So be active! Don’t just show up on the day of the event and expect to simply stroll around. When you get there, seek to be an example to everyone else. Since you have trained, you will not only feel better, you will look better as well. You will exude an enthusiasm that will be infectious. The way you look feel and act will attract attention. People will want to know about your new Betterness and you will inspire them. Who knows, your Betterness might even cause someone at the event to hop on the road to Betterness with you. If they did, it would certainly make their life better and it could even lead to a longer, more productive life for them. Think about this: If you can make other people better simply by being better yourself, Betterness is not a gift you give only to yourself; it is your gift to the world.

Weight of the Nation: PART 1: Consequences

 PART 1: Consequences 

The first film in 'The Weight of the Nation' series examines the scope of the obesity epidemic and explores the serious health consequences of being overweight or obese. The first character we meet is Cindy. Born and raised in Bogalusa, Louisiana, Cindy is the mother of two grown sons and now a proud grandmother. Cindy allowed HBO into her home and life to discuss some very painful things. Only 99 pounds when she got married, Cindy has struggled with her weight ever since her first pregnancy. And it's only gotten harder. Health and behaviors in early childhood can have serious consequences later on in life. The Bogalusa Heart Study - of which Cindy was a participant - shows that overweight and obese children have risk factors for heart disease, even at a young age. The obesity epidemic is a problem that's emerged over the last 30 years. It threatens our nation's social, economic and physical health. But, unlike a natural disaster, obesity is often preventable. Although overall obesity prevalence rates appear to be leveling off, there are still far too many Americans who are overweight or obese and who continue to develop health problems as a result. In order to end the epidemic, everyone must be part of the solution. At the level of our DNA, we're programmed to eat as much as we can to survive and store the extra as fat for future energy use. In a world where calorie-dense, sugar-laden and fatty foods are available around every corner, that's a problem. The good news is that, even if the propensity to gain weight is written into our genes, we're not fated to a lifetime of fat. As we take a look at communities across the country - from New York City to Santa Ana, California - it is clear that we have all been getting heavier. But the problem doesn't affect all communities equally. The sad fact is that obesity rates are higher in some ethnic communities and in lower-income states. The trends are so extreme that they are attracting the attention of health officials and lawmakers. Obesity among children is also rising, and it's a real threat that may have lasting health consequences. As Anna Busby says, based on her observations as the nurse of the Bogalusa Middle School Health Clinic, overweight and obese children are at risk of being "on dialysis in their thirties if we don't do something now." The good news is that we can make a difference in our children's lives both now and as they get older by helping them adopt healthy eating behaviors and become more active. There's a powerful connection between being overweight or obese and having heart disease as an adult. The heart, our hardest-working muscle, spends every second of every day vigorously pumping blood to the farthest reaches of our bodies. The larger we become, the harder our hearts have to work to keep blood circulating. The bottom line: being overweight or obese places you at a higher risk of developing heart disease and suffering a stroke as an adult. Beyond the cardiovascular system, excess weight has negative consequences throughout the body. "Almost every organ system in the body is adversely affected by having excess body fat," says Dr. Samuel Klein, director of the Center for Human Nutrition at Washington University in St. Louis. Even a small amount of excess weight, accumulated slowly at the rate of a few pounds a year over many years, can lead to type 2 diabetes. Being over 45 years of age, having a family history of diabetes, being physically inactive and being overweight or obese can increase a person's chances of developing type 2 diabetes. If poorly controlled or left untreated, type 2 diabetes can lead to a number of serious health problems, including heart attack, stroke, kidney disease, blindness, amputation and even death. Obesity is not only one of the top public health issues facing our country; it's also a threat to our nation's bottom line. Rising obesity rates threaten to drag our economy down through higher health care costs and lower productivity. Currently, 69% of American adults are overweight or obese.


Watch all 4 please 

http://theweightofthenation.hbo.com/watch/main-films/Consequences 

http://theweightofthenation.hbo.com/watch/main-films/Choices 

http://theweightofthenation.hbo.com/watch/main-films/Crisis 

http://theweightofthenation.hbo.com/watch/main-films/Challenges 

Let me know what you think . . . 

Are You Living Life In a Television Comfort Zone?

You are the author of your life. Everyday that you live, you write the script in your head and play it out during the day. As you write your life’s script, your mind constructs everything it needs to complete the story. A big part of that story is its setting. Where does the story of your life take place? What kind of scenery have you constructed? In the theatre, the scenery is often taken for granted but it can make or break a production. The mental scenery that you create for your story has enormous impact on its outcome. Does your story take place mostly in the “The Comfort Zone”? The truth is; most of us live in a perpetual comfort zone. We tend to find comfort in the scenery of familiar places, people and, most of all, habits. It is the warm light of this “scenery” that brings us comfort and familiarity.  Like that worn old baby blanket or that shabby favorite sweater, this environment envelopes us and make us feel safe.  Although this scenery makes us feel comfortable in the moment, it doesn’t always serve our best interests. Sometimes we keep the old ratty sweater simply because we are used to it. We cling to it even though it has an odd odor and is riddled with holes. Its familiarity gives us a sense of comfort. Often the warm glow of our “scenery” is dim and dirty, but our familiarity with it keeps us from exploring change. The feelings we have when we are in the “zone” are so familiar that we seek them out over and over again, even when they are not doing us one bit of good. Staying in the “comfort zone” rarely brings growth or happiness.  We need to realize that that comfort zone only makes us comfortable for a small moment in time.  Living in this zone does not support growth or allow us to reach our goals. For many of us, our comfort zone is our prison. Your comfort zone could take the form of a bad habit, a tendency toward inaction or a propensity to hang around people that constantly deflate your attempts at self improvement. Even the most comfortable prison is still a prison.
Living in the “zone” makes us sit down and watch television instead of going out and taking a walk.  In fact, if you go out and take a walk you may find that you actually feel better and, as an added bonus, you have done something good for yourself.  How much have you honestly accomplished for yourself while watching TV? Was it really time well spent? Do you honestly believe that it has enriched your life?  Add up all the hours you have blown passively watching TV. Have those hours really amounted to anything? Be honest! 

What you may not know is that the most the best experts in the field of weight loss have never even attended college. They have, however, graduated with honors from the school of hard knocks. These true experts are the people that have successfully lost weight and are keeping it off.

            The National weight loss registry is a list of over 6,000 people that have done just that. This is one of the largest studies on weight loss in the world. A couple of times a year the researchers design a survey for the participants to answer. They ask all kinds of personal questions and then hound you to send back the survey. The information they gather is then interpreted for the scientific community and spit out in the form of reports and journal articles. We weight loss professionals wait for these journals with the same level of excitement that most people feel when they are waiting for their EBAY purchases to arrive.  As a member of both the scientific and the participant sides of this study, I fill out the surveys and get the results. When the studies are released, I am particularly excited to see how my answers stack up. It turns out that, according to the latest weight loss registry report, these weight loss “experts” (you know, the ones that actually lost weight) don’t watch that much TV. As it so happens, these folks spend a lot more time living than they do watching life on a small screen. In most cases, the life they live makes a more exciting story than those they are missing on TV. These same people also have managed to limit their addiction to the internet. I guess these people are so busy “living” that they don’t have time to waste surfing EBAY for exercise equipment they will never use. 

The Great TV Experiment

When my kids were young I did an experiment to help them watch TV less and exercise more. The experiment was that, in order to watch television they had to first “pay for it” with physical activity time.  I did not care what the children did but if they expected to watch television they needed to first do some kind of physical activity.  I found a marvelous device called a time scout (which is no longer available) it is a simple credit card like machine that attaches to the television set.  As the children accumulate physical activity time they accumulate credit on their television card.  When they put their card in the machine the television turns on and the clock starts.  When their television time is up the television goes off.  No arguments because who are they going to argue with, the machine?  They tried but it does not answer them.  When I first tried this I was considered a mean and nasty ogre.  With the Time Pilot, I am out of the loop and the machine is now the ogre.  We endured a lot of flack about this, but, with the card system, exercise went up and TV time went down. In a very short time, we saw some amazing things happen. 

In addition to the predictable outcome of having more physically fit children, we also saw some very pleasant unexpected results. Without the mind numbing TV, they started to read more. Their grades really picked up! Both my son and daughter were becoming routine members of the honor roll.  My daughter became a better musician achieving the lofty position of first chair her very first year of the fifth and sixth grade orchestra.  Her teacher was so impressed that she actually called us to say that my daughter was on track for a music scholarship to any music school she chose! All of this because they watch television less and moved more, it was a breath of fresh air. 

            As another added benefit it turns out that my kids have become quite math geniuses now that their TV time has been tied to an accounting system. They have figured out how to conserve their time and use it like a bank account. Because of this training they are already becoming more skilled fiscal managers!  How about that! My children have gotten smarter, more creative and have become better money managers simply because they move more and watch less TV. My genius daughter negotiated a deal that if she exercised while she was watching television she could accumulate television time while watching the TV off her card “for free.”  This led to the kids petitioning for a tread mill to be placed in the living room! Should we add the art of the deal to our list of new skills?  We are now the talk of the neighborhood with our “new” piece of furniture.  It seems like all my kids friends can not stop talking about the fact that we have family dinners together, we go for walks together and smack dab in the middle of our living room is a hideous looking treadmill.  What amazes them even more is that my kids actually use it. 

What is your Lose Weight for Good!® Vision?

This week I had a great conversation with a client who was struggling to lose weight. She revealed to me that she had lost weight before – and she simply could not recapture her old enthusiasm and get back on track. I asked her to tell me what it was like to be 130 pounds. How did she feel? What kind of clothes did she wear? What did she do then that she doesn’t do anymore? In other words: How was her life different when she was at that weight? Did she feel better? Was she happier? I asked her to find that “thin self” within her – knock on her door and have an honest conversation. Chances are, I said, that former you is dying to hear from you. I am sure she has a lot to teach us about how to help you get better and what you need to avoid.

She immediately perked up. "I do remember one thing I did before! When I lost weight the first time, I made a game out of it! Like, if I wanted ice cream, I told myself I would go for ice cream on Saturday if I were real good all week – when Saturday came - I would decide not to go BECAUSE I was so good. I challenged myself not to go and I didn’t! It was like a game and I was winning."

After asking her to connect with those forgotten thoughts and feelings, I thought it might be a good idea to start looking forward.

I asked her to write a list of all the things she would GAIN when she lost weight for good!. Sort of a bucket list but rather than things you want to do before your life ends, hence the name “bucket list”, it would be a list of opportunities her new life would offer her. “I want to ride my bike to work”, she said. “I haven’t been on a bike ride in years – I think I would like to do that.”

She also mentioned that she used to get excited about clothes. She remarked that she used to like looking through women’s magazines for clothing ideas. Lately, she admitted, all she bought the magazines for was on the off chance that they would contain the latest fail-safe diet miracle.

I then remembered a book I had read on success by Keith Ferrazzi ( http://www.keithferrazzi.com/ ) where he talked about how he would look through magazines and cut out pictures of his vision of success: a new car, an expensive watch, a house, a family on vacation in a tropical paradise and the like. It was a visualization technique he used to keep his mind trained on his goals. This sort of stuff is the substance of legend in the success world. It is said that Jim Carey wrote himself a million dollar check while living out of his car as a way to maintain his focus. For Keith – nothing made this exercise more real than the day he moved into his dream home and happened across one of his “dream boards” as he called them from years before. The power of the visualization became clear to him when he realized that the house he was moving into was the EXACT house he had cut out of that magazine!

I asked her to make a dream board of phrases and pictures of what Losing Weight for Good!® would bring her. I told her to include clothes, vacations, men – it was her dream board. I hope that she pulls it out in five years before her night out on the town with Josh Groban she gets a chuckle.

Although I never made a wish board, I might consider it now. I do remember my list though. It was to ride a horse without it being considered cruelty to animals, go rock climbing, take flying lessons in a small plane, run a triathlon and do some kayaking. . . to Block Island. Although that may seem ambitious for a 410 pound man, I have done it all. My list helps me to stay focused on what it means for me to Lose Weight for Good!. Every time my list runs short, I make a new list. Now, my list includes the Adventure racing (http://www.genesisadventures.com )with my son, hiking the entire Appalachian trail (http://www.appalachiantrail.org ), the 500 mile walk of El Camino de Santiago in Spain - (http://www.caminosantiago.com/way_of_saint_james/index.php ) and the Tough Guy© (http://www.toughguy.co.uk/ ) event in England.
By the way, one of my clients, Jack beat me to that one. He is did the grueling Tough Guy© challenge with his son in February 2009.

Quantum Weight Loss

Wouldn’t it be cool to be able to travel back in time? I know I’m captivated by the concept of time travel. I loved Jules Vern’s “The Time Machine,” Ray Bradbury’s “A Sound of Thunder,” the TV series “Quantum Leap” and, especially the “Back to the Future” movies. I don’t think I’m the only person that loves to fantasize about time travel. I mean who wouldn’t give anything to go back in time and fix the spoils of a misspent youth, or simply to retract those 5 Big Macs from yesterday? I think what I like most about these fantastic stories is the notion that small changes in the past can have a huge impact on the future. Maybe the reason these stories are so captivating is they offer us the prospect of getting another chance to get it right. Imagine you had the power to change your past. How would you use it? Chances are, you would use it to change your future.

Unfortunately, until Wal-Mart starts stocking flux capacitors, we are all stuck in the present and it does not take a rocket scientist to figure out that when you are stuck in the present, you can’t change the past . . . or can you?

While we humans have not mastered the art of physically traveling through time, our minds can allow us to “travel” anywhere we want and that includes our past. The truth is we travel to the past all the time and our future depends on what we do once we arrive there. Our present feelings, behaviors and capacity to change are all affected by our impression of the past. Problems arise when we focus on the disempowering moments of that past.

Generally, people are not stupid. We find it easier to do things we believe will bring us results and we don’t want to waste energy on doing things that appear useless. Our beliefs about our potential help us to set odds on whether or not a specific action will actually lead to success. We then use those odds to subconsciously decide if we really want to expend energy on the activity or not. Faith in your ability to succeed is especially important when the task at hand is particularly difficult or does not return an immediate result. In fact, according to Stamford psychologist and Author of Mindset the New Psychology of Success, Carol Dweck, PhD, developing a belief in one’s ability to succeed (she calls it a growth mindset) “allows people to thrive during some of the most challenging times in their lives.”

Since weight loss success involves a lot of seeming small, decidedly difficult actions that do not always appear to return immediate results, you really need to believe in yourself. Since one’s impression of the past plays a key role in the belief in oneself and since believing in oneself is essential to completing difficult tasks, if you could improve your impression of the past, you could improve your future. Thus, allowing you to achieve the dream of every time traveler without the need for a nuclear powered DeLorean.

I specifically use the phrase “impression of the past” because that is exactly what it is, an impression. Your memory is not like a computer hard drive. It does not blindly record every bit of data that it receives. That’s actually a good thing because at any given moment, your body receives millions and millions of data bytes from all of your sense organs. That not only includes your eyes and ears, it also includes information from your skin, internal organs and a host of other bodily systems too numerous to list. All-in-all a lot of data. In fact, your brain probably receives enough data in just one day to fill all of Google’s servers. If our memory had to store all that data, it would likely be all filled before we reach our third week of life. Not only that, but if we were asked to remember last week and our brain had actually stored all the data from “last week” it would take all of “next week” to replay it. 

Instead, our brain is designed to break down the totality of life’s experience into fragmented bits of critical information and store only those that are most important. When we need to travel to our past, these bits or “impressions” are re-collected from the brain and used as some of the building blocks of what we perceive as memory. That recollection, however, is incomplete. So what does the brain use to fill in the details? It uses a building material called the present. Research by Harvard psychology professor Dan Gilbert, PhD, shows that the way we feel right now has a huge influence on how we remember the past.  In his book, Stumbling on Happiness, Dr. Gilbert calls this phenomenon “presentism.”

What that means is that you can control your past by controlling your attitudes in the present. One reason this is so powerful is that by arming yourself with a better past, you will automatically have more faith in your abilities and as a result your actions will likely manifest a better future.

One of the easiest ways to start improving your past is to go back with the intention of finding something worth going back for. I always ask my clients to specifically remember something positive about the previous week. The challenge is we are conditioned to find fault with ourselves. So when the client travels back in time, all they see are their failures. What I try to do is to help them to see what went right.

In a recent conversation with a client, she said, “I ate all the wrong things last week.” If that were true, it would be pretty discouraging and for that client at that moment it was true and she was discouraged. After just a few more minutes of coaxing though, we were both pleased to discover that, while her food choices were not perfect, she did “stop eating when she felt full.” As a result she admitted that she ate a lot less food than she normally would have. This was actually pretty exciting. Once she realized that, she was able to recall all sorts of positive reflections of the past week.

By creating just one positive moment of confidence in the present she was able to “re-collect” an awesome past which lead an explosion of confidence about her future potential. Please don’t misunderstand, revamping your past to be more positive does not mean ignoring your failures, it means that you change the way see them. To create that moment of confidence, I didn’t simply change the subject to sweet smelling rose pedals and soft squishy puppy dog kisses. I used a technique I call the MAGIC WAND. First, I introduce the notion that Mistakes Accomplish Growth If Changed (MAGIC) and then I ask, “What About Now Differs? (WAND)”

It is possible make something quite positive out of what you perceive as a failure by simply recognizing it as a learning experience. Think about it: Failure, or simply not getting something right the first time, is the way everybody learns. True growth actually comes from a mastery of failure. What I ask is that people simply re-frame the way they remember failure. Honestly, the whole concept of failure just clouds your perspective and is completely unproductive. Whenever you catch yourself thinking something you did was a “failure,” substitute the word “mistake.”

Once you can be free from the mental bondage of failure, you are free to ask “What about now differs?” When I asked this question to my client, it gave her a chance to refocus her mental reconstruction of the previous week on the specific accomplishments she felt broke her old destructive patterns. By comparing a mistake of last week (eating a Twinkie) with a mistake you might have made 2 weeks ago (eating a box of Twinkies), it is easy to see that progress has been made. The comparison elicited by the question serves to literally transform the perception of the mistake. Now that same event is not seen as the total disaster it was thought to be. Focusing on how your mistakes are getting better will free your mind of guilt. Without guilt, you will be able to step back, learn and move ahead. All mistakes teach valuable lessons. If you take a little time to search for the betterness in your mistakes you are likely find them. Actually, just the fact that you are positively reflecting and analyzing your past is an improvement in itself. Most people don’t do that.

Once you see you have in fact improved, you can move forward by asking another WAND question, “What Accomplishes New Directions?” While this works best before or while you are in the process of making a mistake, it can also work a week later as you analyze it. By asking this WAND question, you get to decide on a new direction for your life and limit current and future damage. For instance, if you are halfway through a sleeve of cookies when you ask this question, you might just throw the rest away. If you ask the question a week after eating the whole sleeve, you might resolve to slam the door on the next troop of cookie hawking girl scouts that come banging at your door. Really, either way you should emerge from the incident with the proud recollection that you have grown instead of feeling shameful.

If you are still longing for the day when you can actually go back in time and have yourself an old-fashioned playground style “do-over” on life, try to remember that  that TODAY is your tomorrow’s past! In a very real sense, from the perspective of the future you, you are already in the past. Why don’t you impress that future you by starting your do-over today? In fact, to make it a bit less daunting, forget about doing your life over and concentrate on doing your better. When you think about it, if you begin your “do-better” right now you WILL change your tomorrow.