Written and Read By Dr. Russ L’HommeDieu
Imagine a time when you were slimmer, fitter and full of energy. Now imagine that you could go back and have a conversation with that healthier you as they were in the middle of one of the unhealthy behaviors that got you where you are.
What would you say? Would you be a little angry? Be honest . . . wouldn’t you want to say something like, “What the heck are you thinking?” Imagine how helpful that conversation would have been.
Listen, no child on the playground ever dreams of the day when they will be struggling to lose weight or hacking up a lung as they fight to quit smoking. Wouldn’t it be great if our future could inform us of where we're headed and help us navigate to a better life? Well, it can.
What was the first word of this article? “Imagine” – Yes, we humans all have the ability to imagine. Imagination is our gift to “see into the future” we can then use those visions to inform us as to our likely fate with each and every action. If we're smart, we'll use that knowledge to put down the eclair, buy some kale and go to the gym. The problem is that we just don’t do it very often.
Economics and psychology professor George Loewenstein describes this unwillingness to explore our future as an “empathy gap” in a our relationship with our future self. Basically, this gap makes it appear, from our actions, as if we just don’t give a crap about the future us who needs to live with the consequences of our daily actions.
Now, since Dr. Lowenstein is an economist, he talks about this phenomenon in terms of money but, it’s no different for weight loss and health. According to Loewenstein, “The empathy gap tends to promote undersaving, because we can’t imagine either the pleasures of an affluent retirement or the pains of a lean one.” Can you see how this might be happening every time you ditch your exercise or dive head-first into the dessert bar?
In their book Change Anything the authors talk about connecting with your “best” and “worse” future. They report that when people connect to what they really want and visualize it as if it were real, they are more likely to motivate to do the things necessary to get it.
Conversely, they report when people take the time to realistically project their current actions into the future and visualize the negative effects of their behavior, it motivates them to stop the damaging behavior.
I like the exercise Alexa Von Tobel put in her book Financially Fearless: The LearnVest Program for Taking Control of Your Money
It’s a Wednesday in June, and you’re sixty-five. Imagine what your day looks like. Fill in the blanks to craft your vision. I wake up at ____ a.m. I live in ______, and I’m happy to be here because _______.
Today is a ________(busy/relaxing/average?) day. I look in the mirror and my reflection is ______. I spend my morning ______. Then it’s off to ______ , where I _______.
In the afternoon, I _______. Throughout the day, I spend time with some of my favorite people:_______,______, and _______.
As the day winds down/ picks up, I _______.
My head hits the pillow at _____ p.m. I can’t wait for tomorrow, when I’ll _______. Add more detail here: _______________________
OK now for the Doc Russ downer. Repeat the exercise but, imagine that you DON’T do anything to lose weight, get healthy or manage your money:
It’s a Wednesday in June, and you’re sixty-five. Imagine what your day looks like. Fill in the blanks to craft your less than positive alternate reality vision.
I wake up at ____ a.m. I live in ______, and I’m ______ to be here because _______.
Today is a ________(ie another day in pain) day. I look in the mirror and my reflection is ______. I ______________ the way I look and feel.
I spend my morning ______. Then it’s off to ______ , where I _______.
I am so sorry that I can’t _________________________________________________
I wish ______________, __________________ & _____________ didn’t hurt so much.
In the afternoon, I _______. Throughout the day, I spend time with some of my _______ people:_______,______, and _______.
As the day winds down/ picks up, I _______.
My head hits the pillow at _____ p.m. I _______ (can’t wait or dread or other) tomorrow, when I’ll ___________________ (ie- get my sponge bath).
Add more detail here: _______________________
Remember, this is not to depress you. This is to help you have empathy and compassion for your future self. See this as an opportunity to connect personally with the person you have yet to become. Make an effort to feel for them as a person. Work to see how your actions of today could be considered abuse to this poor person.
Think, "How can I keep this from happening?" Be a little outraged. Have you ever read Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol? Think of this exercise as a “vision of your future yet to come” and it's only a shadows of what could be but, not what must be.
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