Does Food Lead to Happiness?

In his book, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi notes that Aristotle observed 2300 years ago that more than anything men and women seek happiness. In this book, Csikszentmihalyi (psychology, Univ. of Chicago) examines flow and describes it in terms of the connections between satisfaction and daily activities. He defines a flow state as one that ensues when one is engaged in self-controlled, goal-related, meaningful actions and it is often described by the person experiencing it as the sense of complete, purposeful, satisfaction that is generally recognized as happiness. 

What I thought was really cool was how much he talks about food and happiness. Our need for food is pretty basic. If you want to survive, you have to eat, but to simply surviving does not make us happy. In fact, for those of us that battle weight, food ultimately makes us unhappy. So, the question is, how can food make us happy? Can food produce flow? I think it can.

To begin, I think it is important that we come to some basic understanding of meaning of pleasure and enjoyment. I'm going to ask you to set aside your personal definitions of these words so that we can all speak the same language. 

For our purposes, pleasure can be described as a situation in which we do something that fills a basic physiological or psychological need. When this happens, a little pulse of electricity goes to one of a few "pleasure centers" of the brain. When that happens, you feel pleasure. When the electrical impulse stops, however, it's over. While pleasure is powerful, it's temporary. 

Enjoyment, on the other hand, is not directly tied to an external stimulus. Enjoyment is more closely tied to accomplishment and true satisfaction. Enjoyment hangs around to serve us breakfast in bed while pleasure leaves as soon as . . . well, you get the idea. 

To quote the book, 

"Enjoyment is characterized by this forward movement: by a sense of novelty, of accomplishment. Playing a close game of tennis that stretches one's ability is enjoyable, as is reading a book that reveals things in a new light, as is having a conversation that leads us to express ideas we didn't know we had. Closing a contested business deal, or any piece of work well done, is enjoyable. None of these experiences may be particularly pleasurable at the time they are taking place, but afterward we think back on them and say, "That was fun" and wish they would happen again. After an enjoyable event we know that we have changed, that our self has grown: in some respect, we have become more complex as a result of it.

Experiences that give pleasure can also give enjoyment, but the two sensations are quite different. For instance, everybody takes pleasure in eating. To enjoy food, however, is more difficult. A gourmet enjoys eating, as does anyone who pays enough attention to a meal so as to discriminate the various sensations provided by it. As this example suggests, we can experience pleasure without any investment of psychic energy, whereas enjoyment happens only as a result of unusual investments of attention. A person can feel pleasure without any effort, if the appropriate centers in his brain are electrically stimulated, or as a result of the chemical stimulation of drugs. But it is impossible to enjoy a tennis game, a book, or a conversation unless attention is fully concentrated on the activity."

In short, enjoyment takes effort. You need to work a bit to achieve enjoyment. When it comes to food, may enjoy that gourmet meal you painstakingly cooked, presented, served and ate slowly and with intention, but you generally won't find enjoyment when you inhale a bag of potato chips. 

The key here is that enjoyment is the key to happiness and that all forms of pleasure may not necessarily lead to happiness. 

Are You READY to breakout of your shell?

The concept that we are killing ourselves with our behavior is not new. Since the beginning of recorded history, medicine has wrestled with the problem of saving people from themselves.  It can be argued that the foundation of modern medicine was laid in Greece at around 400BC by Hippocrates. Hippocrates was a passionate humanitarian, physician and philosopher. His words echo at the graduation ceremonies at every medical school in the country as doctors recite the Hippocratic Oath. His words: “Everything in excess is opposed to nature." And "It is hard to contend against one's heart's desire; for whatever it wishes to have it buys at the cost of soul." also echo the recognition that we, as a race, are in a race to kill ourselves. It is not surprising then, that good ‘ol Hippocrates, an avid exerciser himself, offered up one of the very first lifestyle prescriptions: "If we could give every individual the right amount of nourishment and exercise, not too little and not too much, we would have found the safest way to health." (Really, he said that – the internet told me)

Knowing is NOT the same as doing  

        If we have known of the miracle cure of a healthy lifestyle for 2400 years or more, why are so many of us still getting sick as a direct result of the lives we choose to lead. How could we have had this answer for all this time and still we have the problem? Maybe it is because many people, secretly (or not so secretly), do not want to change. This issue of people not wanting to change has been the subject of intense study. In the early 1980s, Drs Prochaska & DiClemente at the University of Rhode Island examined the phenomenon of this apparent resistance to change as part of their work to help lower cancer rates. What they observed was that behavior change was not, as previously thought, a singular event but a process that occurred over time. In other words, they found that people did not just quit smoking all at once although it may appear as if they had. To arrive at the moment of quitting, they actually had to go through a series of thought processes or stages leading up to the moment where they no longer smoked. Like drops in a bucket, these thoughts and actions accumulated until the bucket was full. Once the bucket was filled, the very next drop made it over flow.

        To a casual observer, it looks as if the bucket began to overflow at the moment that last drop rolled over the edge of the bucket. In a very real sense though, it began to overflow from the moment the first drop hit the bottom of the empty bucket.  As scientists, Dr.’s Prochaska & DiClemente were no casual observers. Through extensive study, they identified 5 distinct stages of change. They consolidated their work into a method of understanding how human beings can change and how we professionals can help them to do it. This method, called the Transtheoretical Model of Change, is based on the concept that people will only be able to make the changes that they are truly ready to make. By understanding how each particular behavior scores on a readiness to change scale, you can begin to attack those behaviors that are ripe for change while cultivating others for later harvest.

How R*E*A*D*Y are you?

        Based on the Transtheoretical model, I have developed the R*E*A*D*Y test. This is a helpful way to determine how ripe your behavioral fruit is for the harvest of change. When my clients and I consider a behavior for change, I ask them to take an honest look at the behavior; the more honest the look, the more useful the test. Knowing how the behavior scores will determine how aggressively we can shake the tree to release the fruit of change. Unlike real fruit, however, behaviors can be ripe for change and then jump right back onto the tree. We need the test to keep focused on only harvesting those behaviors that we can really change. By properly grading the behaviors, we can guarantee success and use that success as seeds to plant more fruit trees. 

Each letter of R*E*A*D*Y represents a specific stage of readiness and is described below.

        R – REFUSE - This is actually not a stage of readiness at all, it’s a stage of unreadiness.  In this stage we refuse to believe we have a problem.  We absolutely fail to recognize that there is anything wrong.  It is the ultimate expression of blissful ignorance.  It is this stage where the lying machine  is working overtime.  I’ll never forget the time my wife, concerned about my weight, served me a no fat, no salt soup.  I ate it and said “I would rather die than eat this stuff the rest of my life”.  The sad part was I meant it at the time; I was not ready to change. I did not even want to talk about it.  Maybe I was ready to change something but I was not ready to change that behavior.  It is important to understand that when you look at your bank of bad habits, some of the bank you will be ready to withdraw and some you will not.  You will find yourself at different stages of readiness for every single behavior that you need to change.  Many of the behaviors that you need to change, may not even make your list of bad habits!  They are in a hidden Swiss bank account of bad habits and your mind refuses to let you see them. What’s the best way to start telling yourself the truth? The best way to begin is with some basic accounting.  Explore your stories, your behaviors, your bank of bad habits and look for things you know you should change. Simply by exploring these behaviors you will be moving into the “E” stage.

E- EXPLORE:  This is where we begin to think about the  behaviors we want to change.  It’s where we start to recognize that there’s a problem.  It is here that we begin to at least consider that our stories are lies and that they are not doing us any good. In this stage we are just waking up to the fact that these behaviors are worth changing.  It is through this exploration that we can begin to make change possible. This exploration, however, takes place entirely in the mind. It is a time of contemplation. To make things happen you need to acquire all the knowledge and tools necessary to begin work.

A- AQUIRE    During this stage we begin to acquire what we need to make our changes work.  The acquisitions that we make include knowledge, equipment, motivation and mind set. In fact if you are reading this book you are in the acquire stage.  You are acquiring knowledge.  You have passed through the exploration stage. You considered your problem and you decided to set the wheels of change in motion. Your acquisition of knowledge is going to form the basis of your future actions. In addition to acquiring knowledge, you may also buy a piece of exercise equipment, join a health club or take a cooking course. This is where you begin to get things started.  Sometimes it is just acquiring the basics of a habit. When I wanted to start walking every night, I started by just walking out onto my front porch. I opened the door and stood there like an idiot. After a while, I felt so stupid that I just started walking. On the days I did not want to walk, I still opened the door and stood there. It took almost no effort to open the door and it was hard to find an excuse not to do it. I wonder if my neighbors still think I’m crazy? I was working to acquire the habit of walking. Even on the nights I did not walk, I worked on building the habit. At this stage, building the habit insures future action. Your commitment to this stage will determine your ability to follow through.  Once I crossed the threshold of that door and started down the street I was officially DOING.

D- DOING:

 Like in the scene from “Forrest Gump” where he just gets up and runs.  This is the point where we just start doing it.  This is the point of action; it is where the work gets done.  This is where behaviors begin to change. It is where “the rubber meets the road.”   Experts say it takes about 30 days to change a behavior.  If you can stay in action phase for at least 30 days then you will probably successfully change that behavior.  Of course I always thought good behaviors took a little longer and it seems bad behaviors can develop in an instant. Once you doing the behavior regularly it seems automatic, it becomes part of your personal story. It becomes part of your definition of YOU. Welcome to the YOU phase.

Y – YOU –This is the phase where you can’t imagine a world without the behavior. It is so much a part of you, you can barley even remember life before this change. The behavior becomes almost effortless. It is automatic because it has become organic to your mind. It is now part of your story. When this behavior is part of you it is hard to deny and hard to defy.  If it is part of your definition of yourself, it is an easy behavior for you to maintain.  It belongs to you;  it is you. It is the last stage of the behavior change process-- sort of. 

Watch What You Drink!

Written and Read by Dr. Russ L'HommeDieu
Did you know that one of the worst things you can do when your'e trying to lose weight is drink calories. 

A tremendous source of excess Calories come from high Calorie drinks.  Considering that most of those Calories have no nutritional value, your body can easily do without them. To make matters worse, research shows that drinking extra calories also makes you eat more. In a study at Penn State University, people who ate a lunch with a 150 Calorie beverage ate more food than the group that enjoyed a Calorie-free beverage. By the way, the BEST Calorie free beverage is water. 

            If you are in the habit of drinking high calorie drinks, you are probably racking up an astonishing amount of Calories. Although most drinks are labeled, the labels can be misleading. Each bottle of soda that you drink has 100 calories per serving but wait-- there are generally 2.5 servings in every bottle. So an ordinary bottle of soda  250 calories! What about the average “large” soft drink from a fast food chain? A large fountain drink from McDonalds packs 310 Calories. All of those Calories are from pure, refined, SUGAR!!! How much sugar? 86 grams of sugar per serving-- 86 grams of sugar-- 86 grams! Are you kidding me? No, I checked it three times. 86 grams of sugar is the same as eating 18 teaspoons of sugar!! Do you want fries with that? (570 Calories for a large) Can I Supersize that for you?  Almost 900 Calories from just the drink and the fries and I have not even discussed the “entrée” yet.

            OK. Soda is bad. Got it! What if you are not a soda drinker? Only “healthy” drinks for you, right? Good work. You should be safe. Try again. A glass of 100% pure, not from concentrate, orange juice has Calories too.  If you were to fill that large McDonalds soda cup with OJ, it would have 409 Calories and 76grams of sugar. Even if you don’t drink that much OJ all at once, it is important to understand OJ is not that much different than soda. It has almost as much sugar and it has MORE Calories! Think about it. How many oranges do you have to squeeze to get a glass of juice? Actually, drinking a 12oz glass of orange juice is just like eating about 6 full-sized oranges. Worse yet, when you squeeze juice, you throw away all the fiber nature packaged the fruit with!

            Are sports drinks OK? Don’t kid yourself. Calories are Calories and sugar is sugar. When in doubt, read the label. When you read the label, start with the serving size and then go to the Calories. If you are going to drink the whole bottle, you need to multiply the Calories by the serving size. It is just that simple.

 According to this Gatorade nutritional information label, this product has 50 Calories. If you look closer, you will notice that there are 4 servings in the container. That means that there are 200 Calories in this bottle. With 14 grams of sugar per serving, that means all of those calories are from sugar. In fact, if you calculate the calories from the sugar information on the label (14g of sugar at 4 Calories per gram times 4 servings) you actually get 224 Calories. I am not sure how those calories fell off the label but I can assure you they will not disappear from you so easily. 

             The sad fact is that most people just don’t think about the calories they drink. According to Dr. Brian Wansink, author of “Mindless Eating:” “In every beverage study, we conducted; people underestimate the calories they drink -- usually by about 30%.  It doesn't matter whether its soft drinks, milk, juice, or wine, although we found vending machines pose the biggest danger.” To help people see the caloric truth about drinks, Dr. Wansink developed the "10 -- 20 " rule of thumb.  As part of this rule, he divides drinks into two broad categories: “Thin Drinks” and “Thick Drinks.” He describes thin drinks as things like soft drinks, punch, juice, and milk while a thick drink is more like shakes and smoothies. As a general rule, he says figure thin drinks at about 10 calories per ounce and thick drinks are about 20 calories per ounce.  This rule could be a great running start but, it can also be another way of justifying your way into way too many calories. For instance, the “Love It” sized fruit “Strawberry Bananza” smoothie at Cold Stone Creamery is low fat, made of fruit and is packin’ 600 Calories.  At about 18 ounces, that is just about 20 Calories per ounce. However, the same sized drink made with regular strawberry ice cream would have a full 1200 calories!! In this case, if you used the 10-20 rule; you would be telling yourself a 600 Calorie deception. Think about this, if you were to indulge one 600 calorie deception like this a day, you will gain 63 pounds a year just from the calories you denied drinking! So be Alert! 
This caution does not stop with soda, juice and ice cream shakes. It also includes what you put into your coffee. Think about the calories that coffee creamer and sugar adds to your coffee. When you have an idea of how many Calories you think that will add to your daily intake, add 30%. Remember, it only takes 3500 excess Calories to gain a pound. When you think about the amount of calories that are in sugar and creamer, you could easily lose 5 to 10 pounds this year by drinking black coffee or unsweetened tea instead. 

Turning your intentions into RESULTS!

Do you intend to get into better shape? You intend to lose weight? Do you intend to eat healthier? Well, you know what they say, “The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.”  While you may intend to do all these things, your intentions alone will not get you very far. As a matter of fact, when it comes to your health, each day that you only think about getting better is actually a day of getting worse.

Don’t get me wrong, intentions are great but, only when they are followed by action. To truly reach any worthwhile goal, you need to commit. A true commitment is non-negotiable. It is something you just do.

Easier said than done, right?  I hear ya! I have plenty of unfulfilled intentions. What if I could show you some techniques that will help you transform some of your intentions into commitments? That would be cool, right? This post is going to help you to do just that so that you can begin to commit to a better and more remarkable life!

The first step in the process is that you have a vision of what this commitment will do for you. If you want to lose weight, imagine what that will look and feel like. Create a picture in your mind of what life will be like when you achieve your goal. Then mentally run through a day in that life. The more compelling your vision, the more it will pull you toward it. Trust me, it is far better to be drawn to a goal than to be pushed to it. One caution though. You need to make the vision believable. The only way this process works is if you know with all your heart that you can achieve your vision.

   

Once you are connected to a compelling vision, you need to get down to business. This is where a lot of people get bogged down.

Over the past two weeks, I witnessed Karen go from a person that just talked about getting in shape to a person that rides her bike 10 miles a day, every day, before work. How did that happen? How was she able to put aside all those great excuses and “just do it.” I mean she had all the classic reasons NOT to do this. She has a demanding job, she has no time, it’s really hot, she has exercise induced asthma. . . you get the idea. Yet, somehow, she overcame all these excuses and has ridden over 100 miles since the 30^th of June.

Her secret was a public challenge. When she rides, she uses an iPhone app called MapMyRide. The app tracks her speed and mileage. The app then saves them the MapMyRide website under Karen’s profile. As an added bonus, with the touch of a button, Karen can also share her workout to Facebook. This way all of her friends can see how well she is doing. It also motivates her to get on her bike every morning because she does not want to look lazy on Facebook.  

As an extra motivation, MapMyRide also sponsors challenges.  On June 30^th, Karen accepted the” Le Tour Challenge” to cycle 100 miles in 23 days. The challenge gives cyclists around the world the opportunity to compete against other cyclists during the 2012 Tour de France. When she started, she barely believed she could do it but she was committed. She cycled just a couple of miles for the first few days but, then slowly pushed herself and got up to OVER 10 miles!  Not only is she is feeling and looking great, she also finished the entire 100 miles in only 17 days!  Why was this so powerful? For one thing, she had a clear, measureable goal with absolute deadlines.  There was no question that she was making awesome progress. She could literally see mileage climbing every day. When she realized that she could actually excced her expectations, she raised her personal standards and finished early. She also made her progress public. As it turns out, this is huge for most people. We like to share our accomplishments with other people and we hate to share our short falls. In other words, when you know people are watching, you behave differently. For the most part, you behave exactly as you want to world to see you. Since most people value how they are seen by the world, this behavior is generally pretty good for you.  Think about it. How much better  would you eat if you committed to post everything you ate to Facebook? There is no doubt that making your commitments public helps you to keep them. I am so proud of Karen. She has really grown from this experience!

Karen's story is a lot like my kayak trip around Long Island. 

Really? What does Karen's bike challenge have to do with my paddle around Long Island? Everything! This paddle is my challenge! I made it public so that I would train hard and not give up. I gave it deep meaning and purpose by making it a fundraiser. The reason I tell the story of Karen is because I want you to connect to the concept and use it for your own personal Betterness®!  

Most people have a difficult time relating to a nut job like me who kayaks 25 miles on a Sunday morning to train for a 260 mile endurance trek. They don’t see how my journey can be useful to them. It’s just too radical. While I might seem radical, I started out as a 400 pound man. I was sick and tired and woefully out of shape. I can even remember the first day I committed to exercise. I did five minutes on a stationary bike. I did 5 minutes because I could not do 6. Now, I am thought of as amazing and radical. Not bad. The message here is that YOU, yes YOU, can do this. (Whatever your personal “this” is) No matter how bad you think you are, you can be radical or at least remarkable. If that is what you truly want. 

Thinking Better (or at least more positively) will actually improve your life.

Science is now showing that positive thinking not only improves you outlook on life, it actually improves your life! According to the book, "Positivity: Groundbreaking Research Reveals How to Embrace the Hidden Strength of Positive Emotions, Overcome Negativity, and Thrive."

 If you can harness your happiness you can transform your life. Backed up by impressive lab research, positive psychology pioneer Barbara Fredrickson lays out the core truths of positivity—joy, gratitude, serenity, interest, hope, pride, amusement, inspiration, awe and love. While it is easy to see the subject of "positivity" as both disdainful and Pollyannaish, this book keeps it real. Dr. Fredrickson does an impressive job of providing scientific evidence to illustrate her findings. One of the most enlightening notions is how easy it might be to become an "effective optimist." According to the author, simply maintaining a 3:1 positivity ratio of positive thoughts to negative emotions creates a tipping point between languishing and flourishing. The book includes compelling case studies, concrete tips, a Positivity Self Test and a tool kit for decreasing negativity and raising the positivity ratio. Although many of Fredrickson's methods and theories (notes on meditation and karma) will seem familiar to anyone versed in yoga or eastern religions, the scientific foundation of her arguments and additional online resources (www.positivityratio.com) will give you a chance to experiment with positivity and very possibly lead a "better" and richer life.

Have you considered Blogging your weight loss journey?

What the heck is a blog? 

Well, according to the folks over at Google, "A blog is a personal diary. A daily pulpit. A collaborative space. A political soapbox. A breaking-news outlet. A collection of links. Your own private thoughts. Memos to the world. Your blog is whatever you want it to be. There are millions of them, in all shapes and sizes, and there are no real rules. 

In simple terms, a blog is a web site, where you write stuff on an ongoing basis. New stuff shows up at the top, so your visitors can read what's new. Then they comment on it or link to it or email you. Or not.

Why should I have one? 

In his book, Fire Your Therapist, Joe Siegler, MD talks about how helpful it is for coaching clients to start a blog. I think he makes a great point. You can use your blog as a journal to track your progress toward goals and the evolution of your thoughts as you progress through the coaching process. It is an awesome way to keep aware of issues that you want to work on. It will help you keep focused on your goals and help you to track your progress. 

Importance of writing stuff down. 

In a 1953 study conducted at Yale University it was discovered that only 3% of Yale graduates had taken the time to write down their goals. 10 years later, those "goal writers" became far wealthier than the other 97% of the class combined. 

In his book, "What they don't teach you at Harvard Business School" Mark McCormack, talks about survey given to the 1979 graduating class the Harvard Business School's MBA program when they graduated and then again 10 years later. On the initial survey, when asked: "Have you set clear, written goals for your future and made plans to accomplish them?" Only three percent of these graduates had written goals and plans; 13 percent had goals, but they were not in writing; and 84 percent had no specific goals at all. These are HARVARD GRADUATES!! 

The findings of the follow-up survey were shockingly predictable. Ten years later, the members of the class who had goals were earning, on average, twice as much as the ones who had no goals at all. The minority of students that actually wrote down their goals blew their classmates away by earning, an average of ten times as much as the remainder of the class put together. Hmm. I wonder if people that write down their weight loss goals lose 10 times the amount of weight as those who don't? I write my goals down. I have notebooks I refer to daily. I design myself goal forms, send myself emails and stick post-it notes all over the house and, yes, I have a blog. I have not only lost 100% of my excess body weight, but I am successfully maintaining it. I wonder if there is a connection?

The good news is that it is NEVER too late to start. If you really want to accomplish something write it down. If it is worth doing, it is worth making the contract. If you are not ready to write the contract, you are not ready to accomplish the goal. 

Why not write in a book, on piece of paper, on post-it note or on the bathroom mirror? 

While it really does not matter where you write your goals, aspirations, thoughts, affirmations and accomplishments, your blog is marvel of technology. Blogging is about more than just putting your thoughts on the web. It's about connecting with and hearing from anyone who cares about you. With a blog, you control who can read and write to your blog — let just a few friends, your coach or the entire world see what how you are approaching Betterness!

It is not only a tool to write down your goals, track your progress it can even help you to be accountable to your coach. When you set up your blog, you decide who can read and who can write to your blog. I use a group blog with multiple authors as a communication tool for my group coaching. If you want to keep it private, you can create a private blog as your online space for collecting news, links, and ideas, to keep to yourself or share with as many readers as you want.

As for accountability, you can set it up so that every time you post an entry, your coach gets an email, or not. You can even set it so other people in your support network know when you are writing, or not. You get to decide how you set it up. No matter what though, you will never have to worry about forgetting your goal sheet or journal when you and your coach meet. If your coach has access to the internet (and you give him or her permission) they will be able to see your blog. 


Of course, Facebook is an awesome tool for this kind of accountability as well. For some people, this is the best way to communicate with their world. The problem is that Facebook may be a little too public. You can set up your blog so that it is between just you and your best supporters. 

Ok, how do I get one of these "blog" things? 

Although there are many options for getting a blog, I use a Google service known as blogger. While you certainly can get your blog from any provider, this video will help you get started with Blogger.



Another great tool for staying accountable is an app called http://www.myfitnesspal.com/
It allows you to share your fitness and food logging successes with other users and friends.
According to their website,
With a 100% FREE membership you get:

• The easiest to use food diary on the web -

   
  Track what you eat with just a few clicks from anywhere with an internet connection - at home or at work

• A searchable food database of over 1,865,000 items -

   
  and it's growing everyday!

• Your own personal food database -

   
  add your own foods and recipes at any time and access them from anywhere with an internet connection

• Free mobile apps for iPhone and Android -

   
  so you can log your meals and exercise even when you are on the go

• Support and motivation 

  from people just like you - Our discussion forums let you learn from others, share your own tips, receive and give encouragement, and make friends.

• A personalized diet profile

   
  - customized to your unique weight loss goals.

• Flexibility

   
  - our system can support any eating lifestyle you choose.

Thanks -

Wellness: A Retirement Fund You Can Bank On

A couple of years ago, an entire issue of Money magazine was dedicated to the topic of health and wellness. In his preface to the edition, the editor stated apologetically that, although at first blush, it seemed strange for a magazine ordinarily devoted to issues of wealth to concentrate on health and wellness, the accumulation of wealth is worthless without the health to enjoy it. When retirees were interviewed as to the regrets about mistakes made when planning for their retirement, the most common belief was that they should have made a more significant investment in their health earlier in their lives. I see many people who have worked their entire lives only to discover that they are ineligible to fully enjoy the fruits of their labor because they did not invest early enough in their health. When you think of it, the initial costs of these investments are relatively low and the return is immensely high. Right now is the best time to start listening to those retiree s regrets. By not investing early enough in your health, you could find yourself tarnishing your golden years. As with all investments, timing, quality and quantity are critical. Making wise choices now are the keys to the success of your wellness future. Those who have planned well for their health, not only live longer, but live better. They tend to enjoy their financial prosperity more. Overall, even those less financially successful seem to have a much richer life if they have made solid health investments early on.

What makes a truly good investment? One thing we know of investments in health is that relatively small deposits compound over time and yield tremendous results. A 10 minute walk every day from now on, could buy you the ability to trek across the spring tundra of Alaska on your 80th birthday. Small, wise, health investments made over time will yield truly miraculous results. The good news is that health investments are easy to identify. Good deals are out there, and we know what they are: quit smoking, lose weight, eat healthy and become more physically active. Our biggest mistake is thinking we can start tomorrow. Every day that passes without making a health investment is a lost opportunity to increase our wellness portfolio. There are 365 days in a year and it is amazing how quickly they pass. What were your health goals, one year ago? How many have you met? The absolute truth is that the time to invest in your health is now. As with any investment strategy, it is best to start small. Begin by picking one thing that you can do to improve your health. Even the smallest investment has the potential for tremendous return. Walking 10 minutes a day, every day, no excuses - can and will make a huge difference in your life. Don't believe me? Prove me wrong. Walk 10 minutes a day, every day, for one month and see what happens. When started I my evening walks, it did not take long for the walks to become easier and more enjoyable. Although I have to admit, some walks have been better than others, I am convinced that I am always the better for it. The improved strength and increased energy I derive from walking are simply dividends being paid to me now on my long-term health investments. The big payoff will come when I am older provided I continue to invest. Walking is just one example. It is easy to do and does not require any special equipment. In short, it is difficult to find a valid excuse not to walk. Are you having trouble getting started? Do you need a plan? Luckily, help is out there. The financial planners of the health and wellness world are called coaches. Coaches are specially trained professionals that help you to understand the process of change and can show you how to get started. They help you to set realistic goals and help you realize your long term potential. The best coaches have had personal experience fighting and winning the same battles you are facing. They have been where you are now and they understand. Although it is NEVER too late to begin your wellness portfolio the earlier the better. How about today? Consider reaching out for guidance from a skilled professional that can bring you from where you are to where you want to be. It is possible, it has been done by others, and you are not alone.

Action Giving - An exercise in kindness: improving the world one step at a time.

Whether you are losing weight or have reached your goal, it is important to keep your body moving. The good news is that almost any kind of movement will do as long as you do it and keep doing it. In order to be effective, however, staying active needs to be a long-term commitment that does not end when you have lost all the weight you want to lose.

According to the National Weight Loss Registry, engaging in a consistent activity program is a key element in the maintenance of any weight loss success. Did I say long-term commitment? I meant life-long commitment. Yes, that means that movement needs to become part of your life. That may sound like some kind of prison sentence but if you do something you really enjoy doing it’s not that difficult.

If any of you have a bad case of insomnia one morning around 4am and happen to be strolling along a beach on the North Fork of Long Island, you might catch a glimpse of me blissfully gliding along the surface of the bay in a kayak. I enjoy it so much; I can't even call it exercise. Make no mistake, though, I do manage to elevate my heart rate. I actually paddle hard enough to exceed the speed of an average 30 foot sailboat under full sail. I know this because I have confused many a sailor as I quietly whipped by them. The cardiovascular benefits of paddling are undeniable, the scenery is impossible to beat and the core muscle training is awesome. By the end of the summer I cannot even fit into my shirts because my chest has become so developed. The core strength and flexibility the sport provides me improves every aspect of my physical abilities, especially my balance.

When I kayak I have some unbelievable workout partners, ducks, geese, osprey and loons. There is no better way to “work out” then to do something you love to do. My “gym” is a million miles long and a million miles across, and I will never get to see the whole thing; that’s pretty amazing. The peace and euphoria that this routine brings me sets the tone for my entire day and can last for a week.

Yup, I sure do love to kayak. The problem is that even when you love to do something, the motivation to keep going can still evaporate. Next thing you know, a month or a year goes by and you’re no longer doing anything. The secret to holding on to your motivation is to maintain a deep connection to all that is good about what you are doing. Still, holding on can be difficult.

It was a cold, rainy and windy start to the kayaking season and I don't mind telling you that I was losing my kayaking MoJo (Motivational Joy -- not to be confused with the Cuban Spice also known as MoJo.) I remember too many mornings at the beginning of the season where I just stood on the beach, cold and wet, only to turn around and go home. I did nothing to really move my body on those days and I really felt lousy because of it. It was a bad habit in the making.

One of the main lessons that the challenges in my life have taught me is that every human being has the potential to be better. Certainly, losing over 200 pounds was a challenge but keeping it off- is takin’ some work too! Throughout my weight loss journey I began to see this process of success develop. I began to recognize that the path to the life I really wanted could only be walked one step at a time. I learned that all I had to do was to develop one good habit at a time and stick with it. After a while that good habit became easy and it was time to make a better habit. I discovered that all I needed to do in order to stay on this path of improvement was to just keep collecting these small, positive changes. After a while, I developed a system that allowed me to focus on the changes that best suited me.

I call this system Betterness ®. Simply put; Betterness ® is defined as the process of radical life improvement through the accumulation of small but consistently performed positive changes. Although there is way more to the actual system than that, the key here is that you need to keep doing what you are doing. In the case of my daily kayaking “habit” all I had to do was keep on doing it. Unfortunately, sometimes Betterness just that ain’t that easy.

I define “Action Giving” as the act of giving by doing something physical. This kind of charity is not only good for you but it gives you the opportunity to make a real difference in the lives of others. It is an awesome way to stay motivated to keep your body moving. Yes, even I, with my professed love for kayaking can use a motivational boost.

My MoJo was rescued back in 2007 by the Paddle for Humanity. The paddle for humanity is an 18 mile open ocean charity paddle from Montauk, NY to Block Island, RI. It is held every year in early September.  Who would have believed that the same 400 pound man struggling to stay on an exercise bike for 5 minutes would cross almost 20 miles of Open Ocean in a 15 foot kayak? Believe it! I did it for three years and this year I am going out on my own to do a charity kayak of almost 300 miles around Long Island!

How did this give my MoJo back? All I needed to do to get my MoJo going was to think about all the people whose lives might change if I could keep paddling. I knew the only way for me to endure the grueling 18 miles to Block was to get my butt into that boat and paddle - every day. Since getting started is always the hardest part, all I needed was a little shot of MoJo and soon I was blissfully ripping along like always. As I continued to train, I stayed motivated by getting sponsors. I knew that people were depending on ME and I was not going to let them down. I knew that when I finally left the safety of Montauk, I would not be alone. I would have all of the collective energy of my sponsors and their beneficiaries behind me. As I paddled, I couldn’t help thinking about the real people whose lives will be made better by the causes we were supporting. I am truly grateful that I am able to make a difference in the world, contribute to my own wellbeing and do something I love to do in the process. This kind of giving is a great way to stay motivated on the sometimes difficult road of Betterness.

As it turns out, often a little motivation is all we really need. If you don’t think action giving is powerfully motivating, it is only because you have not yet experienced it. Yes, you too can be an “action giver” and don't have to risk shark attacks, muscle cramps, being lost at sea or even getting wet. OK, so I’m being dramatic. When I do these crazy paddles, they are actually extremely well organized and safe there is no chance of being lost at sea, the sharks out there are well fed enough to leave us paddlers alone and my training keeps the muscle cramps away. I am quite sure, however, that staying dry is not an option. So, if getting wet is not your thing, there are many good causes that will get you moving.

Perhaps the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life is the most familiar to you. Did you also know that the Obesity Action Coalition and the American Society for Metabolic and Bariatric Surgery jointly organize the walk from obesity? (http://www.walkfromobesity.com/)The proceeds from this event support obesity research and obesity advocacy. If you are overweight, as I was, and ever felt isolated, alone and misunderstood, this is a great cause for you to support! The march of dimes also comes to mind. These events are held all over the country at various times which gives you plenty of opportunities to get involved. I encourage you to find your own way of Action Giving.

When you do sign up, treat the event as true commitment to yourself as well as the beneficiaries of the event itself. Think of your participation as a reason for you to do better, fell better and BE better. Set your mind to the belief that the more you train, the more you AND the world will benefit. Honestly, you can change the world with just one positive thought provided it is followed by an action. So be active! Don’t just show up on the day of the event and expect to simply stroll around. When you get there, seek to be an example to everyone else. Since you have trained, you will not only feel better, you will look better as well. You will exude an enthusiasm that will be infectious. The way you look feel and act will attract attention. People will want to know about your new Betterness and you will inspire them. Who knows, your Betterness might even cause someone at the event to hop on the road to Betterness with you. If they did, it would certainly make their life better and it could even lead to a longer, more productive life for them. Think about this: If you can make other people better simply by being better yourself, Betterness is not a gift you give only to yourself; it is your gift to the world.

Weight of the Nation: PART 1: Consequences

 PART 1: Consequences 

The first film in 'The Weight of the Nation' series examines the scope of the obesity epidemic and explores the serious health consequences of being overweight or obese. The first character we meet is Cindy. Born and raised in Bogalusa, Louisiana, Cindy is the mother of two grown sons and now a proud grandmother. Cindy allowed HBO into her home and life to discuss some very painful things. Only 99 pounds when she got married, Cindy has struggled with her weight ever since her first pregnancy. And it's only gotten harder. Health and behaviors in early childhood can have serious consequences later on in life. The Bogalusa Heart Study - of which Cindy was a participant - shows that overweight and obese children have risk factors for heart disease, even at a young age. The obesity epidemic is a problem that's emerged over the last 30 years. It threatens our nation's social, economic and physical health. But, unlike a natural disaster, obesity is often preventable. Although overall obesity prevalence rates appear to be leveling off, there are still far too many Americans who are overweight or obese and who continue to develop health problems as a result. In order to end the epidemic, everyone must be part of the solution. At the level of our DNA, we're programmed to eat as much as we can to survive and store the extra as fat for future energy use. In a world where calorie-dense, sugar-laden and fatty foods are available around every corner, that's a problem. The good news is that, even if the propensity to gain weight is written into our genes, we're not fated to a lifetime of fat. As we take a look at communities across the country - from New York City to Santa Ana, California - it is clear that we have all been getting heavier. But the problem doesn't affect all communities equally. The sad fact is that obesity rates are higher in some ethnic communities and in lower-income states. The trends are so extreme that they are attracting the attention of health officials and lawmakers. Obesity among children is also rising, and it's a real threat that may have lasting health consequences. As Anna Busby says, based on her observations as the nurse of the Bogalusa Middle School Health Clinic, overweight and obese children are at risk of being "on dialysis in their thirties if we don't do something now." The good news is that we can make a difference in our children's lives both now and as they get older by helping them adopt healthy eating behaviors and become more active. There's a powerful connection between being overweight or obese and having heart disease as an adult. The heart, our hardest-working muscle, spends every second of every day vigorously pumping blood to the farthest reaches of our bodies. The larger we become, the harder our hearts have to work to keep blood circulating. The bottom line: being overweight or obese places you at a higher risk of developing heart disease and suffering a stroke as an adult. Beyond the cardiovascular system, excess weight has negative consequences throughout the body. "Almost every organ system in the body is adversely affected by having excess body fat," says Dr. Samuel Klein, director of the Center for Human Nutrition at Washington University in St. Louis. Even a small amount of excess weight, accumulated slowly at the rate of a few pounds a year over many years, can lead to type 2 diabetes. Being over 45 years of age, having a family history of diabetes, being physically inactive and being overweight or obese can increase a person's chances of developing type 2 diabetes. If poorly controlled or left untreated, type 2 diabetes can lead to a number of serious health problems, including heart attack, stroke, kidney disease, blindness, amputation and even death. Obesity is not only one of the top public health issues facing our country; it's also a threat to our nation's bottom line. Rising obesity rates threaten to drag our economy down through higher health care costs and lower productivity. Currently, 69% of American adults are overweight or obese.


Watch all 4 please 

http://theweightofthenation.hbo.com/watch/main-films/Consequences 

http://theweightofthenation.hbo.com/watch/main-films/Choices 

http://theweightofthenation.hbo.com/watch/main-films/Crisis 

http://theweightofthenation.hbo.com/watch/main-films/Challenges 

Let me know what you think . . . 

Are You Living Life In a Television Comfort Zone?

You are the author of your life. Everyday that you live, you write the script in your head and play it out during the day. As you write your life’s script, your mind constructs everything it needs to complete the story. A big part of that story is its setting. Where does the story of your life take place? What kind of scenery have you constructed? In the theatre, the scenery is often taken for granted but it can make or break a production. The mental scenery that you create for your story has enormous impact on its outcome. Does your story take place mostly in the “The Comfort Zone”? The truth is; most of us live in a perpetual comfort zone. We tend to find comfort in the scenery of familiar places, people and, most of all, habits. It is the warm light of this “scenery” that brings us comfort and familiarity.  Like that worn old baby blanket or that shabby favorite sweater, this environment envelopes us and make us feel safe.  Although this scenery makes us feel comfortable in the moment, it doesn’t always serve our best interests. Sometimes we keep the old ratty sweater simply because we are used to it. We cling to it even though it has an odd odor and is riddled with holes. Its familiarity gives us a sense of comfort. Often the warm glow of our “scenery” is dim and dirty, but our familiarity with it keeps us from exploring change. The feelings we have when we are in the “zone” are so familiar that we seek them out over and over again, even when they are not doing us one bit of good. Staying in the “comfort zone” rarely brings growth or happiness.  We need to realize that that comfort zone only makes us comfortable for a small moment in time.  Living in this zone does not support growth or allow us to reach our goals. For many of us, our comfort zone is our prison. Your comfort zone could take the form of a bad habit, a tendency toward inaction or a propensity to hang around people that constantly deflate your attempts at self improvement. Even the most comfortable prison is still a prison.
Living in the “zone” makes us sit down and watch television instead of going out and taking a walk.  In fact, if you go out and take a walk you may find that you actually feel better and, as an added bonus, you have done something good for yourself.  How much have you honestly accomplished for yourself while watching TV? Was it really time well spent? Do you honestly believe that it has enriched your life?  Add up all the hours you have blown passively watching TV. Have those hours really amounted to anything? Be honest! 

What you may not know is that the most the best experts in the field of weight loss have never even attended college. They have, however, graduated with honors from the school of hard knocks. These true experts are the people that have successfully lost weight and are keeping it off.

            The National weight loss registry is a list of over 6,000 people that have done just that. This is one of the largest studies on weight loss in the world. A couple of times a year the researchers design a survey for the participants to answer. They ask all kinds of personal questions and then hound you to send back the survey. The information they gather is then interpreted for the scientific community and spit out in the form of reports and journal articles. We weight loss professionals wait for these journals with the same level of excitement that most people feel when they are waiting for their EBAY purchases to arrive.  As a member of both the scientific and the participant sides of this study, I fill out the surveys and get the results. When the studies are released, I am particularly excited to see how my answers stack up. It turns out that, according to the latest weight loss registry report, these weight loss “experts” (you know, the ones that actually lost weight) don’t watch that much TV. As it so happens, these folks spend a lot more time living than they do watching life on a small screen. In most cases, the life they live makes a more exciting story than those they are missing on TV. These same people also have managed to limit their addiction to the internet. I guess these people are so busy “living” that they don’t have time to waste surfing EBAY for exercise equipment they will never use. 

The Great TV Experiment

When my kids were young I did an experiment to help them watch TV less and exercise more. The experiment was that, in order to watch television they had to first “pay for it” with physical activity time.  I did not care what the children did but if they expected to watch television they needed to first do some kind of physical activity.  I found a marvelous device called a time scout (which is no longer available) it is a simple credit card like machine that attaches to the television set.  As the children accumulate physical activity time they accumulate credit on their television card.  When they put their card in the machine the television turns on and the clock starts.  When their television time is up the television goes off.  No arguments because who are they going to argue with, the machine?  They tried but it does not answer them.  When I first tried this I was considered a mean and nasty ogre.  With the Time Pilot, I am out of the loop and the machine is now the ogre.  We endured a lot of flack about this, but, with the card system, exercise went up and TV time went down. In a very short time, we saw some amazing things happen. 

In addition to the predictable outcome of having more physically fit children, we also saw some very pleasant unexpected results. Without the mind numbing TV, they started to read more. Their grades really picked up! Both my son and daughter were becoming routine members of the honor roll.  My daughter became a better musician achieving the lofty position of first chair her very first year of the fifth and sixth grade orchestra.  Her teacher was so impressed that she actually called us to say that my daughter was on track for a music scholarship to any music school she chose! All of this because they watch television less and moved more, it was a breath of fresh air. 

            As another added benefit it turns out that my kids have become quite math geniuses now that their TV time has been tied to an accounting system. They have figured out how to conserve their time and use it like a bank account. Because of this training they are already becoming more skilled fiscal managers!  How about that! My children have gotten smarter, more creative and have become better money managers simply because they move more and watch less TV. My genius daughter negotiated a deal that if she exercised while she was watching television she could accumulate television time while watching the TV off her card “for free.”  This led to the kids petitioning for a tread mill to be placed in the living room! Should we add the art of the deal to our list of new skills?  We are now the talk of the neighborhood with our “new” piece of furniture.  It seems like all my kids friends can not stop talking about the fact that we have family dinners together, we go for walks together and smack dab in the middle of our living room is a hideous looking treadmill.  What amazes them even more is that my kids actually use it. 

What is your Lose Weight for Good!® Vision?

This week I had a great conversation with a client who was struggling to lose weight. She revealed to me that she had lost weight before – and she simply could not recapture her old enthusiasm and get back on track. I asked her to tell me what it was like to be 130 pounds. How did she feel? What kind of clothes did she wear? What did she do then that she doesn’t do anymore? In other words: How was her life different when she was at that weight? Did she feel better? Was she happier? I asked her to find that “thin self” within her – knock on her door and have an honest conversation. Chances are, I said, that former you is dying to hear from you. I am sure she has a lot to teach us about how to help you get better and what you need to avoid.

She immediately perked up. "I do remember one thing I did before! When I lost weight the first time, I made a game out of it! Like, if I wanted ice cream, I told myself I would go for ice cream on Saturday if I were real good all week – when Saturday came - I would decide not to go BECAUSE I was so good. I challenged myself not to go and I didn’t! It was like a game and I was winning."

After asking her to connect with those forgotten thoughts and feelings, I thought it might be a good idea to start looking forward.

I asked her to write a list of all the things she would GAIN when she lost weight for good!. Sort of a bucket list but rather than things you want to do before your life ends, hence the name “bucket list”, it would be a list of opportunities her new life would offer her. “I want to ride my bike to work”, she said. “I haven’t been on a bike ride in years – I think I would like to do that.”

She also mentioned that she used to get excited about clothes. She remarked that she used to like looking through women’s magazines for clothing ideas. Lately, she admitted, all she bought the magazines for was on the off chance that they would contain the latest fail-safe diet miracle.

I then remembered a book I had read on success by Keith Ferrazzi ( http://www.keithferrazzi.com/ ) where he talked about how he would look through magazines and cut out pictures of his vision of success: a new car, an expensive watch, a house, a family on vacation in a tropical paradise and the like. It was a visualization technique he used to keep his mind trained on his goals. This sort of stuff is the substance of legend in the success world. It is said that Jim Carey wrote himself a million dollar check while living out of his car as a way to maintain his focus. For Keith – nothing made this exercise more real than the day he moved into his dream home and happened across one of his “dream boards” as he called them from years before. The power of the visualization became clear to him when he realized that the house he was moving into was the EXACT house he had cut out of that magazine!

I asked her to make a dream board of phrases and pictures of what Losing Weight for Good!® would bring her. I told her to include clothes, vacations, men – it was her dream board. I hope that she pulls it out in five years before her night out on the town with Josh Groban she gets a chuckle.

Although I never made a wish board, I might consider it now. I do remember my list though. It was to ride a horse without it being considered cruelty to animals, go rock climbing, take flying lessons in a small plane, run a triathlon and do some kayaking. . . to Block Island. Although that may seem ambitious for a 410 pound man, I have done it all. My list helps me to stay focused on what it means for me to Lose Weight for Good!. Every time my list runs short, I make a new list. Now, my list includes the Adventure racing (http://www.genesisadventures.com )with my son, hiking the entire Appalachian trail (http://www.appalachiantrail.org ), the 500 mile walk of El Camino de Santiago in Spain - (http://www.caminosantiago.com/way_of_saint_james/index.php ) and the Tough Guy© (http://www.toughguy.co.uk/ ) event in England.
By the way, one of my clients, Jack beat me to that one. He is did the grueling Tough Guy© challenge with his son in February 2009.

Quantum Weight Loss

Wouldn’t it be cool to be able to travel back in time? I know I’m captivated by the concept of time travel. I loved Jules Vern’s “The Time Machine,” Ray Bradbury’s “A Sound of Thunder,” the TV series “Quantum Leap” and, especially the “Back to the Future” movies. I don’t think I’m the only person that loves to fantasize about time travel. I mean who wouldn’t give anything to go back in time and fix the spoils of a misspent youth, or simply to retract those 5 Big Macs from yesterday? I think what I like most about these fantastic stories is the notion that small changes in the past can have a huge impact on the future. Maybe the reason these stories are so captivating is they offer us the prospect of getting another chance to get it right. Imagine you had the power to change your past. How would you use it? Chances are, you would use it to change your future.

Unfortunately, until Wal-Mart starts stocking flux capacitors, we are all stuck in the present and it does not take a rocket scientist to figure out that when you are stuck in the present, you can’t change the past . . . or can you?

While we humans have not mastered the art of physically traveling through time, our minds can allow us to “travel” anywhere we want and that includes our past. The truth is we travel to the past all the time and our future depends on what we do once we arrive there. Our present feelings, behaviors and capacity to change are all affected by our impression of the past. Problems arise when we focus on the disempowering moments of that past.

Generally, people are not stupid. We find it easier to do things we believe will bring us results and we don’t want to waste energy on doing things that appear useless. Our beliefs about our potential help us to set odds on whether or not a specific action will actually lead to success. We then use those odds to subconsciously decide if we really want to expend energy on the activity or not. Faith in your ability to succeed is especially important when the task at hand is particularly difficult or does not return an immediate result. In fact, according to Stamford psychologist and Author of Mindset the New Psychology of Success, Carol Dweck, PhD, developing a belief in one’s ability to succeed (she calls it a growth mindset) “allows people to thrive during some of the most challenging times in their lives.”

Since weight loss success involves a lot of seeming small, decidedly difficult actions that do not always appear to return immediate results, you really need to believe in yourself. Since one’s impression of the past plays a key role in the belief in oneself and since believing in oneself is essential to completing difficult tasks, if you could improve your impression of the past, you could improve your future. Thus, allowing you to achieve the dream of every time traveler without the need for a nuclear powered DeLorean.

I specifically use the phrase “impression of the past” because that is exactly what it is, an impression. Your memory is not like a computer hard drive. It does not blindly record every bit of data that it receives. That’s actually a good thing because at any given moment, your body receives millions and millions of data bytes from all of your sense organs. That not only includes your eyes and ears, it also includes information from your skin, internal organs and a host of other bodily systems too numerous to list. All-in-all a lot of data. In fact, your brain probably receives enough data in just one day to fill all of Google’s servers. If our memory had to store all that data, it would likely be all filled before we reach our third week of life. Not only that, but if we were asked to remember last week and our brain had actually stored all the data from “last week” it would take all of “next week” to replay it. 

Instead, our brain is designed to break down the totality of life’s experience into fragmented bits of critical information and store only those that are most important. When we need to travel to our past, these bits or “impressions” are re-collected from the brain and used as some of the building blocks of what we perceive as memory. That recollection, however, is incomplete. So what does the brain use to fill in the details? It uses a building material called the present. Research by Harvard psychology professor Dan Gilbert, PhD, shows that the way we feel right now has a huge influence on how we remember the past.  In his book, Stumbling on Happiness, Dr. Gilbert calls this phenomenon “presentism.”

What that means is that you can control your past by controlling your attitudes in the present. One reason this is so powerful is that by arming yourself with a better past, you will automatically have more faith in your abilities and as a result your actions will likely manifest a better future.

One of the easiest ways to start improving your past is to go back with the intention of finding something worth going back for. I always ask my clients to specifically remember something positive about the previous week. The challenge is we are conditioned to find fault with ourselves. So when the client travels back in time, all they see are their failures. What I try to do is to help them to see what went right.

In a recent conversation with a client, she said, “I ate all the wrong things last week.” If that were true, it would be pretty discouraging and for that client at that moment it was true and she was discouraged. After just a few more minutes of coaxing though, we were both pleased to discover that, while her food choices were not perfect, she did “stop eating when she felt full.” As a result she admitted that she ate a lot less food than she normally would have. This was actually pretty exciting. Once she realized that, she was able to recall all sorts of positive reflections of the past week.

By creating just one positive moment of confidence in the present she was able to “re-collect” an awesome past which lead an explosion of confidence about her future potential. Please don’t misunderstand, revamping your past to be more positive does not mean ignoring your failures, it means that you change the way see them. To create that moment of confidence, I didn’t simply change the subject to sweet smelling rose pedals and soft squishy puppy dog kisses. I used a technique I call the MAGIC WAND. First, I introduce the notion that Mistakes Accomplish Growth If Changed (MAGIC) and then I ask, “What About Now Differs? (WAND)”

It is possible make something quite positive out of what you perceive as a failure by simply recognizing it as a learning experience. Think about it: Failure, or simply not getting something right the first time, is the way everybody learns. True growth actually comes from a mastery of failure. What I ask is that people simply re-frame the way they remember failure. Honestly, the whole concept of failure just clouds your perspective and is completely unproductive. Whenever you catch yourself thinking something you did was a “failure,” substitute the word “mistake.”

Once you can be free from the mental bondage of failure, you are free to ask “What about now differs?” When I asked this question to my client, it gave her a chance to refocus her mental reconstruction of the previous week on the specific accomplishments she felt broke her old destructive patterns. By comparing a mistake of last week (eating a Twinkie) with a mistake you might have made 2 weeks ago (eating a box of Twinkies), it is easy to see that progress has been made. The comparison elicited by the question serves to literally transform the perception of the mistake. Now that same event is not seen as the total disaster it was thought to be. Focusing on how your mistakes are getting better will free your mind of guilt. Without guilt, you will be able to step back, learn and move ahead. All mistakes teach valuable lessons. If you take a little time to search for the betterness in your mistakes you are likely find them. Actually, just the fact that you are positively reflecting and analyzing your past is an improvement in itself. Most people don’t do that.

Once you see you have in fact improved, you can move forward by asking another WAND question, “What Accomplishes New Directions?” While this works best before or while you are in the process of making a mistake, it can also work a week later as you analyze it. By asking this WAND question, you get to decide on a new direction for your life and limit current and future damage. For instance, if you are halfway through a sleeve of cookies when you ask this question, you might just throw the rest away. If you ask the question a week after eating the whole sleeve, you might resolve to slam the door on the next troop of cookie hawking girl scouts that come banging at your door. Really, either way you should emerge from the incident with the proud recollection that you have grown instead of feeling shameful.

If you are still longing for the day when you can actually go back in time and have yourself an old-fashioned playground style “do-over” on life, try to remember that  that TODAY is your tomorrow’s past! In a very real sense, from the perspective of the future you, you are already in the past. Why don’t you impress that future you by starting your do-over today? In fact, to make it a bit less daunting, forget about doing your life over and concentrate on doing your better. When you think about it, if you begin your “do-better” right now you WILL change your tomorrow.